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29 September 2006 @ 12:02 pm
willy wonka is hella fucked up  
I just saw someone watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory on there laptop and it made me realize something, that is one fucked up movie.

I’m not talking about the fact that some old dude is living with a bunch of child looking, gay umpas, or the fact that half of the shit he has in his factory have nothing to do with making candy, i'm talking about a very simple part that most people don't even think about.

first lets look at the story: there is a contest that is going to let people talk a tour of the candy factory if they can find some stupid golden thing in there chocolate. this factory is suppose to be the shit. everyone wants to go in and see the wonderful world that its suppose to be. then There is a poor kid, I don't remember his name, and he is poor. i know i said that already but he is realllly poor.

His family is poor because his mom works to support the kid, and 3 grand parents that apparently can't walk. there house is a piece of shit, and the mom works her ass off. Now the kid, like everyone else wants to go see the factory, so he spends what little money he has on one of those bars, and after some shit happens it turns out he won. he races home to his shit hole of a house and to his dead tired mom and three crippled grandparents to show him that he won.

it turns out that he can take one person with him, and who does he take? his grand pa! then A MIRICAL HAPPENS!!!! he can walk!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!!!!

The poor mom is working her ass off to support this crappy family, and the whole fucking time the grand pa guy could fucking walk? what the fuck is this shit?! the lazy bastard could have helped support the family, but instead he pretends to be crippled!!! and on top of that he only starts to walk once his grand kid wins something apparently huge and important to the people of this world. What a fucking prick!! that bastard would have let the family starve before he got his lazy ass up and went back to work.

God damn it! what a little ass-hole!

and you know if that kid wasn't offered to go live in the chocolate factory with his family that the old prick would have gone right back to bed! what really makes me mad is that the mom didn't seem to care! i would have been PISSED!!!! i would have beaten the shit out of him to make sure that he really could never walk again! then i would go over to the other two old people and beat the shit out of them just to make sure that they weren't lying to me.

GOD DAMN THAT MOVIE!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!! THIS SHIT HAS SERIOUSLY PISSED ME OFF!!!!! WHAT A LAZY FUCK!!!! FUCK HIM, FUCK THE BOOK, FUCK THE MOVIE, AND FUCK THE BASTARD THAT WROTE THIS SHIT!!!!!! FUCK IT!
 
 
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
 
 
 
budessa on September 30th, 2006 12:27 am (UTC)
I can't believe a movie made you that mad :0
Let alone a movie about chocolate.



That kid should have just sold the gold ticket for hella cash since he was so poor. That would have been the smart thing to do.
matt_the_giantmatt_the_giant on September 30th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC)
well its fucking bull shit! god i hate that fucking old man! i'm going to make a new willy wonka movie. one in which the mom kills the grandpa.

and yes that is what he should have done, but i guess it all worked out.
budessa on September 30th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC)
I would watch it.
Taj Mahal: jake!octavius_x on October 2nd, 2006 01:45 am (UTC)
Oh matt my dear, I always really really enjoy your movie posts. Not only do you just cut to the chase, but the entire mechanics analysis thing is hilarious -nobody else I know thinks like that. Haha like when you talked about superman's costume.

Also you forgot the poor kid's name "Charlie" like "Charlie and the chocolate factory?"